Feeling Bad

Yesterday I didn't have any work and really needed to just get out of the house. So I let Noah decide where to go for lunch after a few attempts at meeting someone for lunch failed. No suprise he chose McDonald's, or "Donalds" as he calls it. I was a little hesitant because he had had a few accidents that morning, but I decided to try it anyway. I talked to him before we left and on the way there about making sure he tells me when he needs to go potty so I could help him. When we were there I asked him quite a bit if he needed to go, and he always said no. (Even if he does say no but needs to go, he will usually give some other sort of indicator, and he didn't seem like he needed to go yet.)

After he was done eating he was over by the playland, and I was just sitting at the table watching him run around. He was watching these girls climb around on the outside of the playland and not really playing on anything (which he doesn't really go up into it unless he makes a friend who will go with him, or get him to go with them). These girls were really loud, which I'm not complaining, they were just screaming and having fun. After a couple really loud screams from them, Noah just yelled out "Momma!" and then started to cry, I thought maybe he got frightened from their screaming, so instead of going to get him I just told him to come to me. Next thing I know he grabs "down there" like he needs to go potty, so I jumped up to run and get him, but by the time I even get up it's too late, and he's already started to go and had an accident.

After I got to him, he just kept saying he wanted to go home, he was upset but not crying, and I just kept telling him it was ok, and that we could go home. I was mad at myself b/c I packed a bag with things we would need incase of an accident, but I left it in the car, I wish I could have changed him in there before we headed home, but he had to ride home in his wet underwear and pants. :(

Once we got home and I turned around to unbuckle his carseat he looked so sad, so I asked him what was wrong and he says, "I'm sad. I wanted to play at Donalds." I just told him that it's ok, we can go play there another day, but I felt sad for him, too.

I feel so bad because I think the urge came on kind of suddenly, and he was in a new place (new for going to the bathroom anyway), and he probably just didn't know what to do. It broke my heart to know that his panic and crying were because he was about to go. I made sure that I stayed calm and did not reprimand him. I gave him lots of loves when we got home so he knew I wasn't mad.

Being out in public is a whole different ball game I think. Kids are out of their comfort zone, and I do expect he will have accidents out in public as it's still very early in the process. Next time I just need to remember to bring the bag of extra underwear and clothes in with me, so that we can just change him and go on with what we were doing.

I also feel bad because I didn't take him in to show him the bathroom when we first got there. I have tried to do that, just so he can see where it is and maybe it might help him feel a bit more comfortable seeing it first instead of just rushing to it when we need. I also should have tried to have him try to go, because before we left he tried but didn't have to and it had been awhile.

This is all still pretty new, and it is a big change for him, so his accident at McDonald's did not make me upset or frustrate me in any way, I just feel like I did not set him up for success, and the obvious sadness he felt made me feel horrible that he was feeling that way. I want him to feel proud that he is doing a good job with potty training, not embarassed or scared because he's in a new place and unsure what to do.

I'm stil feeling really bad about that this morning, although I'm sure Noah is over it by now. I just hated seeing him so sad and scared. This part of yesterday did not have anything to do with my "blah" day, other than I just felt bad for Noah and felt bad I did not set him up for success while we were there, so I guess in that way it did contribute a little, but Noah himself and what he did was not the contributing factor. Just feel like I need to clarify that. ;)